Martina Miholić

Etiam quis mi eu elit

Cheetah Training

Training:
24/05/2013
4.00pm

- stretching exercises
- Warming up - running in the neighbourhood, around little lake in Liebefeld.
approximately 2000m
- stretching exercises

- running exercises
- 3 x 60m low skip, high skip, popping outs, running jumps
- 2 x 60 m sprint accelerations

- 40 x general back mussels lift up
- 2 x 5 push ups (I could not have made more... or I was to lazy)
- 20 x Abdominal, 60 x short Abdominal, 40 x short Abdominal

- running/footing cooling down 3min

Observations:

I felt exhausted after first few minutes of running, but I felt bit better later on.
I really did like doing running exercises. I liked the feeling how my body has felt, especially when I was doing low skip and high skip, and the way my pony tail was jumping.

I liked acceleration sprints even more.. I was always liking that most...especially 120 m ones..., when you would literally felt laws of physics, while getting out of curve part of track at the stadium. It was short enough not to get tired, you would just feel speed your body is producing... Actually it is such a powerful feeling when you feel that your body is capable of performing something like that. Your body in some new condition...like ...well when you are drunk, or taking some other substances.
It is something like adrenalin..something... I can see why it could be addictive.

I felt my old injury, I super did not count with that.
But it burns you out, you feel good but a bit washed out. It was cold in Bern but I think I probably felt colder because of luck of energy.
I remembered that feeling when I was younger. I totally do not have idea how did I make it throughout years with school and the other obligations. It made me think if I become lazy ass now?

Etiam quis mi eu elit

Cheetah Training

Training:

25/05/2013

Day off

Observations:

I felt a bit guilty because, immediately after first day I had day off. But I am trying to follow diary.

Etiam quis mi eu elit

Cheetah Training

Training:
26/05/2013
11.00am

- stretching exercises
- Warming up - Running next to the river Aare ...cca 2 - 2.5 km
- stretching exercises

- running exercises
- 3 x 60m low skip, high skip, popping outs, running jumps
- 2 x 60 m sprint accelerations

- running/footing cool down 5min

Observations:

My thought, wetter to say worry from two days ago is continuing... Did I become lazier throughout years? Did I loos stamina? Or if it has just transformed, towards some other objectives? I started day running next to really nice river of Aare. It was rally beautifully, somehow smooth, but I was dead as hell after it. Isotonic drink has helped, but I can not imagine going to art school, doing loads of homework (theory, art) learning, reading, going to English course, having social life, afterwards I did it when I was kid.

Maybe I am just not trained enough, but I really don't know how I am going to survive by the end of next week..., but I will I know.

Cheating... or not, comparing, competing. Why it's easier when you are competing with someone. Why does it give sort of inspiration to you...? Why it's easier when you have someone next to you? Why does that push you way harder? Why it's harder when you have to push yourself alone?

And I somehow feel cold and frozen all the time. Table is bit warmed up from my laptop. It's warming up my legs. That feels good.
I think a lot about the time when I was training athletics. It's sort of like when you listen music, smell the smell, taste something that brings back atmosphere from the past.

Pain from the old injury is becoming sharper.

Feeling of old injury..,. of not being able to do sprints and sprint excesses properly..., feeling that... you can not sense acceleration and those speed moments without pain.

Body remembers.. I wonder if it remember all alcoholic nights. Many alcoholic night in my life.

I didn't get drunk yesterday night... It was TANZ DICH FREI party on the streets of Bern. I told to Olivia: If it was nicer weather (it was cold and a bit rainy) I would speak you in staying and getting drunk and having fun all night long. I believe I would still wake up in morning for my running, maybe a bit later, but I still would. I wounder how would I feel?

When I think better..., I started to drink when I was 10. Horrible I know. It would not drink to much or on regular base, but still I did. However our coach was a bit crazy (read lunatic), super strict, forcing us to save money for digital scale, as he could weight us in milligram (some girls ended up in hospital with an anorexia, and he would mock me, that I am not exactly fat..., but that I am a little dumpling. I was 14 I was 168 cm tall and I had 45kg) but still he was somehow tolerant towards alcohol. Of course in rare situations, but still in a way he was.

Etiam quis mi eu elit

Cheetah Training

Training:
27/05/2013
4.30pm

Luzern Promenade

Warming up:

- streching excercizes
- running 15 min.
- streching excersises
- running excercises:
3 x 60m low skip, high skp, popping outs, running jumps
-attempt to run aproxy 600m with 100% strenght ( I was not sure how long it exactlly was and I believe it was not exactly with 100% strenght)
- I did another cca 300 – 400 m with 75%
-cooling down : running 10 min

Observations:

I was speaking later on with Olivia in a car. I told her how I was a bit disappointed with myself. I didn't do 600m with full strength.

I asked myself If it was because I did not have anyone to chase with, except myself?

If it was because I knew how would I have look like if I did it with 100% of strength ? I would hardly breath, I would fall down from my legs. It would look a bit weird. I do not know if I subconsciously thought people on the promenade would think I am a bit crazy and that it would not fit in promenades 'puprpose' for walking, 'promenading', bit showing of or elegantly jogging. Also in a was maybe subconsciously, maybe not, I didn't wanted to upset them with my really hard breathing, or maybe I was just a bit of a cowardly saving myself from that actually painful act.

Than I put a question if front of myself.

Do I put same amount of concentration, effort, energy, eagerness into the things I am occupied with now (art), as I did it once, as a kid, into running and training athletics

Am I trying really hard? Do I have same kind of stamina? What is motivating me now? What is different from the past motivation I had for running?

Than Olivia asked me what at first motivated me to start training athletic and how did I started it?

I remember I realised by myself as a really young kid. Maybe I was 5 when I realised I can ran fast and long. I was once with my parents on the river bank of fiver Sava, trying to get somewhere where dog's show took a place. We were taking our dog Moni for a dog's competition there. I was running all the time, like a dog 100-200m in front of my parents and than I would running get back. I would repeat that action again and again. I realised in a game of tag, I is was faster than the other kids in my neighbourhood. When I was about ten we had really strict PE teacher. She forced us to do all kind of sports. I was really bad with basketball or any other ball related sport but I was waiting for the athletic. And yes, in a springish time we started to run. I was the best in my class and teacher sent me to competition. Soon I become school athlete star, enrolled sports club 'Mladost' (Youth), went to Japan...

But there was something more than being good at something, being cool, admired... It was more about some specially relation to your body, feeling of being in your own body, sensing it, discovering it's limits, discovering how does it work from inside. How does muscles and bones make a movement, how they make a great apparatus. Sometimes I have a feeling we take our body for granted. Ok, we are sensing it when we eat, when it is super cold or warm, when we are having sex, when we are in pain... but that sport activities really open up some new consciousness of body, like you are taken to another state/condition. It is maybe it is just partly because your body releases endorphin.

We spoke more about pushing limits of body and intellect, and the balance and the equality between them and about neglecting one or the other.

We pushed conversation further bringing other subjects as nude photography (concentrating more on let's say adults photography) , porn... as one way of body exploration.

One of famous Croatian artist and my friend Marjan Crtalic a year ago has made performance called political speech. He put plastic bag over his head and he was trying to speak. He was breading really hard, starting to choke when he took that plastic bag off of his head. Even though performance was super upsetting, my masochistically comment was: 'You should have left it longer on your head.' Maybe now I should listen my own advice once told to my friend.

I was wondering why I do not sweat enough. After every training as a kid all layers of my clothes would be completely wet like I was soaked in a swimming pool. So I was wondering where is it now? Does it mean I am not trying hard enough? Maybe? Or is it because of low humidity in the air here?

And I had few glasses of prosseco after, and a glass of red wine too. But I refused prosecco before training, even though I really wanted to have a glass of it.

Etiam quis mi eu elit

Cheetah Training

Training:
28/05/2013
1.30h

Along river aare side

- stretching excesses
- warming up - ruining 15 min
- running excesses:
3 x 60m low skip, high skip, popping outs, running jumps

- attempt to do 800m competition, I guess I did measure something what was

supposed to be more or less 800, maybe I did not do it with 100% strength but I

pushed it way more harder than yesterday
- I did another 300 – 400 m with 90% of strength

Cooling down: running approximately 10 min

Observations:

I was happier today.

I got blisters, actually I got them before...but they were not nice today.

I went running in the direction, opposite direction of river, where was less people. I felt less distracted there, I was way more with myself. I somehow managed to push myself harder.

I spoke with my parents about all that 'athletics' thing/days. They were so nice, for ages we did not talk about it in this way. Everything they said was so right and nice.

Cheetah Training

Mom and dad interview

Me: How did you like all idea about me training athletics? What did you think when I started? What did you think about it?

Mom: (unison) I think that was super and great.

Dad: (unison) I think that was super and great.

Me: Why?

Mom: (immediately) Because you have become more responsible towards your work, learning, your body, food.

Dad: Mum overtook my word I think same. And you have become and you were not sick all the time any more.

Mom: Even though I felt sorry in the winter time when you would get out on the cold in the morning and I was still in my pajamas.

Dad: From only child you have become athlete. You have taken your responsibilities seriously.

Mom: It was hart do watch..., it was already when you were in the high school, and when you would get home from school and training, your hands were shaking out of tiredness while you were eating. You would write your homework till the early morning hours.

But yes I was proud of you.

Dad: She still is proud.

Me: Did you have any expectations of me and those trainings. I mean in a term of me getting really successfully in sports? Making some significant results?

Dad: Not expectations, but of course I was happy when you would make some progress in something you were at that amount engaged with. But not in a term of achieving some great results. Nothing like that was something you have must achieve.

Mom: Of course it was nothing we expected from you, as something you must have done, but I was happy for your every winning medal. I have really liked the one from Karlovac.

Me: Were you disappointed when I decided to quit it?

Mom: No I was not disappointed or sorry for it, because you wanted to dedicate yourself to your school and art.

Dad: We spoke about that a lot at that time. For you and us school was always on first and than athletics after. And as you realised you can not be dedicate to both you pick school as priority. And we supported that decision.

Me: do you think I am and I was equally dedicated and put same amount of effort later on to my school, uni, art, organizations, whatever I was engaged with?

Mom: Yes I think you were equally dedicated and responsible towards everything. Towards your school, uni, art, organisations of events you did...

Me: Thanks mom and dad.

Etiam quis mi eu elit

Cheetah Training

Training:
29/05/2013
6.30pm

Gepard group running day with Anna, Brigita, Patrick, Marco

- stretching exercises
- Warming up - running in the neighbourhood (around little lake) for around 10 min
- running exercises
- 2 x 60m low skip, high skip, popping outs, running jumps

- stretching exercises

Observations:

I was really glad we all managed to gather. It was really nice group run. Finally I was happy to run with someone. Brigita and Patrick said they are going to gym regularly (as I got) Anna knows many things about yoga and how to verbally explain some exercises and she was helping me out while explaining. Actually she knew how to explain it way better than I did. I somehow maybe took it to granted.

Later on we had lovely dinner Brigita has prepared. We had some isotonic drinks and red wine.